It’s about 2pm when I started putting this blog together. It’s also the same time I poured myself my morning coffee. With booze.
Don’t worry, it wasn’t straight whiskey or rum or anything like that. Just Mr. Black, Disaronno, and Bailey’s. Some say it’s simple. Leave a comment if you’re interested in my favorite coffee dessert drink or what your favorite coffee cocktail is.
About a few weeks back, I decided to chuck my multitasking smart phone and bring in the big guns–a clock radio. While I had some issues at first, I accomplished my [mini] goal. I was no longer scrolling through social media first thing in the morning. While I haven’t found the right combination, I believe it’s a step in the right direction. Scrolling through the news feeds is my way of still feeling like I’ve accomplished something while in actuality, I’ve accomplished nothing for myself. If you want to change your habits and you also have that problem, let that sink in for a moment.
“Scrolling through the news feeds is my way of still feeling like I’ve accomplished something while in actuality, I’ve accomplished nothing for myself.”
With the long weekend, I should have known it was too good to be true. There was a solid week of waking up mostly on time and starting the day with more positivity than usual. Then the switch was flipped. Instead of slowly waking and rising out of bed this morning, I spent about two hours scrolling through ‘feeds’ for that small hit of dopamine. I reverted to my old habits. You could consider this a failed attempt, but with all failures comes a learning experience. As I sit here and write this now, I think I have broken the cycle. Instead of stewing over the possible fears, worries, and ‘what if’ scenarios, I went ahead and did the things that were on the forefront of my mind.
While trying to use only the alarm clock, I also layered a habit I didn’t see. I started to act upon tasks I’ve normally procrastinated. When I feel the urge of reading social media, I open the app, see the first few posts and then realize that I should be doing <insert more important things>
If you continue to read my blogs 🙂 you’ll gather that I love my parents and value them deeply. We had planned to have them over today for a BBQ, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this presentation that I will be doing for work tomorrow. Normally, I would have continued to lay in bed and think about how this all plays out until it was too late. I know my parents would understand completely, but I hold myself to my highest standard. I don’t want them to think less of me (even though I should know it’s not possible). I stopped my brain in it’s thoughts and right away contacted them and explained that I needed today to prep for this presentation. And if you couldn’t have guessed, they understood! One task down, many more to go…
While feeling a small rush of crossing-one-off-the-list, I decided to keep going, and shower. If you didn’t already know, sometimes the easiest of tasks can be the most daunting. There’s also so much to do for showering.. I won’t get into that today! I completed it and it was another little boost!
Even though it’s a holiday, I decided to do the things that caused me the most stress for work. It took about an hour but I can now enjoy the rest of the day without the worry of looking like a fool tomorrow. I’ve prepared to look like a fool instead! All in all, I’ve gotten to a point where I feel comfortable enough–if I had to do my presentation right now–I wrote enough points to get me through it thus, lowering my overall stress and worry.
I’m not even close to being the person that I want to be. I’ve failed often but it’s time to learn from those lessons, reflect on how I can change, and put some things in action. And possibly fail again. As long as I can break bad habits, it’s bonus points if I can change it to positive habits.
KatD0m 